The New York Influence

Your friend is heading to New York. That one coworker you barely talk to is heading to New York. That one dude who thinks he’s hot shit is going to New York. That quiet dude from college is heading to New York. Your love is heading to New York. Hell, she might already be in New York. Why the f*ck is everyone going to New York???

I think I’d be out of mind to suggest New York isn’t or wasn’t a hot destination for young adults. I mean its mythical at this point. Globally recognizable, culturally ubiquitous, and veneered amongst generations of people. New York is New York. I don’t blame anyone for imagining a life there. To live in a big city is still a treat in its own.

Yet, to many of those living outside of this great city. Why does EVERYONE want to move there? Even those without a genuine reason to go there beyond, “I want to live in New York”. The city was a destination to chase your dreams. A pursuit of a grand goal in which New York itself is the backdrop for this journey. But now, the pull of the city is just the city itself. This is not a new take. Paul Skallas, otherwise known as LindyMan, wrote this in The Cult of New York. There are a lot of draws to moving as he wrote. What I want to focus on a bit more is his bit about “Presence Related Purpose”. Moving to New York being a goal isn’t entirely new. The promises of exposure, proximity to the arts, and being in the center of culture has always been around. Yet, there used to always at least be a purpose to it. But what he mentions as people moving to New York without an inherent purpose beyond existing seems to be new. I want to dive a little deeper into that. Why are people finding purpose in just living in New York?

A Living Trend

The aspirational lifestyle in which young adults seek has changed throughout the years. Trend setters, it-girls, style icons, are all terms that can be used to describe those that define the in-trend lifestyle. Nowadays, this is often set by lifestyle bloggers on platforms like Instagram and Youtube. Personality’s like Casey Neistat and Michelle Choi have garnered big fan bases through posting their lifestyles in NYC. I am not arguing that these individuals make a living off “living in NYC” per se, but rather a big draw to consuming this content is to live vicariously through them. An idealized itinerary may be attending a workout class, dropping into a cafe afterwards, going on a shopping haul, followed by a meal at the infinite number of popular restaurants and bars. Existing in New York is the aspiration, not what you do in NYC. Even historical NYC cons have become trendy like living in a terribly cramped studio apartment. But how come visiting NYC doesn’t suffice anymore? The modern age of social media values authenticity. That means truly living the lifestyle you are claiming to experience. Stories on Snapchat, Instagram, BeReal and a general distaste for a shallow “tourist” experience and valuing something deeper. Despite that, on average, people stay 2-5 years before leaving. There isn’t a goal beyond experiencing New York, those lie elsewhere because living long term is prohibitively difficult. Long term goals aren’t considered viable in NYC. Kids? Family? As of 2026, NYC is probably one of the most difficult places to achieve any of such dreams unless you earn a truly impressive amount of money. The goal of moving to NYC, is to just be able to experience it.

Character Judgement by Location

A rather curious modern phenomena is the need to externally express our internal qualities such as morals, interests, and beliefs. We bucket certain traits into archetypes in which we further judge individuals based on which archetype they fall under. Historically, dress and style are self explanatory and clear in how we judge individuals. Now, everything is under scrutiny. Where we live, the way we live, are all open to interpretation and judgement. Therefore, by very little stretch of the imagination, where you live grants you certain qualities and assumptions regardless of it being true. There are certain perceptions of New Yorkers that are passed down to its denizens, including values, character, and interest. New York city being culturally diverse grants you a cosmopolitan persona, and a liberal sense of identity. It’s status as a mecca for art and culture leans into the narrative of New Yorkers being an aesthete. The countless number of events, activities, and stories that New York has birthed just simply makes you interesting. No longer is character judgement reserved for the famous or the source being just direct connections, we are all judged by what can be perceived. Living in NYC can grant you some very desirable traits without ever having to prove them individually.

Fear of Missing Out

There is an ever present feeling of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) when someone speaks about making the move to New York. Now FOMO isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It is by nature a human reaction, rooted in some sense of survival or at least as a guide for our decision making. Ignorance to it however, leads us to adopt external influences into our own psyche. It’s existence can’t be ignored, it requires reflection. New York and the emotions to being in big city is heavily intertwined with FOMO. Everyone is there. The mythical late night adventures, spiritual journeys, and character growth is an indirectly advertised perk of situating yourself in the concrete jungle. This makes it ripe for influencer and anyone that cares about external perception. Now a past blocker to the migration may have been distance. But with the new era of internet connection and social media, NYC can feel very close to home. It’s impossible to feel FOMO for a party you can’t even fathom reaching or connecting with. But now that we are all connected deeply, its easier to imagine oneself in the city, taking part in this experience. To partake live is more valuable today then it ever was before. Being acutely aware of whats happening in the city when you are all but a spectator leads to that burning desire of wanting to be there. FOMO spreads too. The feelings of FOMO from one creeps into their friends and spreads like a virus. Now everyone needs to go, otherwise, they may miss out on the greatest young adult life they possible could’ve lived.

It would be disingenuous for me to say NYC isn’t interesting. But I want to make a small argument, that the fulfilling life you seek, may be else where. Regardless, I wanted, not to convince you otherwise, but to poke at your desires and encourage reflection on where you may end up. Your life is a movie but maybe it has a different setting. Just because it isn’t in NYC doesn’t make it any less fantastic. But if it is, have fun!